Oasis

Cherish The Day

I survived another Valentine’s Day as a single woman in these streets! <twerk something> *Cue Megan The Stallion, Jill Scott, no I mean Tamela Mann, because I'm twerking for Jesus! Hallelu! lol The revolution will not be televised, but my love story will be. Bet that! Better yet, bet on God!

As you can tell, I’m so hype right now! Prolly because I met a plethora of personal and professional goals this week – My work projects are coming along great, I cooked this week and everyone is still alive, made it to bible study, got in three work-outs and even enjoyed a walk with my poppa, since the doctor cleared him to exercise - Everyday I'm hustlin'!

Sis slayed at the Perez Art Museum Art + Soul Event and enjoyed an evening of culture and music with Tank and The Bangas. Come through split!

But enough about me, let’s talk Cherish The Day Episode 3, "Oasis." This episode opens up with Evan and Gently dating for three months. The couple enjoy round 2 of them doing "the nasty" (close your eyes saints) as Evan encourages Gently to attend his parents 40th Anniversary party. It's evident to me that Evan is enamored with Gently, based on his actions, not to mention his words, "Since I met you, I just want to be around you. You’re like ketchup, you make everything better." Well put me on a platter and serve me as a whole meal Evan. 

There is something special about watching this melanin and this type of love magnified on the big screen. I admire the way Evan loves Gently. His delicacy, his intentionality, his patience, it's sweet and endearing. So much so, that Gently describes him to be, easy to be with, sweet, honest, good to her and plays no games – all characteristics that I want in a mate. Asking for myself, do men like Evan really exist? 

In this episode, we're introduced to Gently's mom’s addiction, which I purport is the reason why she doesn't trust so easily. Luna and Evan share tea, West Adams history and a 2-step while Gently prepares to meet The Fishers. Gently spends time with Evan's niece at the hair salon and her bestie shares some words of wisdom with Gently concerning her mom ... "What if it’s not about her this time. I love you and just want to see you win."  I believe you reach a point in life, where you realize that putting your happiness first is what best serves you and eventually others. 

As the episode continues, we're introduced to Evans parents. Daddy Fisher is a little happy with the libations and Momma Fisher, Marilyn and her Sorors, set the bourgeois tone. I’m just saying ... I like my D in front of my S and my S in front of my T! Oo-oop!

Three snaps for Evans toast! If you missed it, here it goes "I want to thank my parents for showing me to have an open heart and not to judge, to see the value in a persons character and not their bank account and to know that a happy marriage is more than where you come from, it is the home that you make together." Mic drop! 

After Evan's toast he gets into a heated debate with his mom about Gently and his congratulatory in-direct you're a hypocrite speech and subsequently leaves the party early. What was most surprising to me in this scene, was Gently's mature response to overhearing their conversation. She didn't blow up, but encouraged Evan to stay and support his parents. More importantly, I'm happy Ava didn't portray Gently to be an angry black woman, when in fact she had every right to be in this moment. 

This episode closes with a deeper connection between Gently and Evan. Gently opens up to Evan about her mom and Evan soothes her pain and disappoint with these words,"You can look for love in me and find it!" I was completely done after that! Just done!

I believe it is almost everyone's desire to be loved. We are created out of love to give and receive it. One of my favorite Jill Scott songs, salaciously says  "he loves me especially different, every time you keep me on my feet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBYV4bMlg7g. Love is the change that we need, the change we can believe in. So why am I scared of it? Let's unpack this next week!

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Cherish The Day

Hey love world! I am a 36, college-educated, full time entrepreneur and a single black female, who has never been married, engaged or birthed any children. I am a lover of love and have a lot of love to give and I am responsible for giving that love to some who didn’t earn it and deserve it. I guess you can say I’m a unicorn! I can count on one hand, how many real relationships I have been in. "Situationships" there are plenty of those, in retrospect too many of them! As we approach Valentine's Day, I wanted to divert my energy of singleness to one of empowerment for myself, my tribe of girlfriends and all the "single ladies" < insert Beyonce>, no really insert Beyonce! We need help! My singleness journey thus far has manifested into a love yourself, girl God has not forgotten about you, no good thing will He keep from you empowerment for women type of mission!  

This week/end many of you may feel like the quote above. That you're just not going to show up on Valentine's Day, but I have this crazy belief that God has this huge, big love for me. That's the only thing that makes sense. So, I can't skip Valentine's Day. Sorry, not sorry! It can't just be another day for me. It has to be a day that I love on myself and the people around me. Speaking of love, Cherish The Day has put me right in the mood for it.

I watched the two part premiere this week on the OWN Network, created by Ava DuVernay. Hey girl, hey! The anthology introduces the two main characters Gently and Evan and showcases how love is sparked, cultivated and survives the challenges of life. I don't want to give all the deets away, but Gently meets Evan while she was running an errand for her employer. I like to purport that Gently met Evan while she was walking in her purpose. MESSAGE! Gently wasn't sitting around and waiting, she was getting ish done! She was in the fields gleaning like Ruth in the bible, well really she was in the library fighting for Luma's (played by Cicely Tyson) overdue library books, but you get the point! Evan attempts to come to Gently's rescue when he meets this strong, insightful, no tolerance queen! An Instagram DM later and they're on their first date. While sharing desserts on the street corner, Gently and Evan share a conversation about happiness. Gently so profoundly states, "People want to be around happy people, more than people who aren't happy, so why not try our best to make other people happy. In every interaction, in every moment with every person." This happiness that Gently speaks of doesn't just come from a romantic love. I believe it stems from the love we possess for ourselves and the love we feel we deserve from others. If we would just believe that we are God's best and know that His love for us is unwavering, we would be reserved in what we allowed to enter our lives that represents the polar opposite. I posted this quote on my Instagram this week (@lala_bangs), stating "You will be amazed at what you attract once you start believing in what you deserve." Ba-by! This has been part of my journey. I realized that I attracted certain men and projects in my life according to how I felt about LaShannon. It's not that, I didn't want the best, but I didn't possess the God-confidence to receive it and to walk through these 2020 doors of opportunity, but now I do! I'm asking God for everything! Lord send "somebody's son", send the clients, send Ava, send Oprah, send Essence, send weight loss, send peace, send travel, send prosperity, send all that I have dreamed that is aligned with your will!

As we delve into part two of the premiere, there was something special about the scene in Evan's apartment after their visit to the hospital. Something so real, innocent, romantic and I said to myself, "I felt that before." That peace, happiness, safe space, a simplicity enveloped with emotions, too early to feel, but evident and present in both. I felt that before and I want to feel it again!

For many of you reading this blog your journey at this juncture, may not be love, but it maybe about self discovery. 

Regardless, I want you to:

Cherish The Day that you realize you are the prize!
Cherish The Day when you know you are to be chosen and not do the chasing.
Cherish The Day where you are unapologetically happy with who God created you to be and walk in that light! 

Cherish The Day!

Spring Forward, Let Go and Let Love

Last night my girlfriends and I enjoyed the Series Finale for BET's rom-com show, Being Mary Jane. 

Davi, LaQuisha, myself and DJ

Accompanied with some wings and fine wine from V. Sattui (Nappy Valley) we discussed everything from love gained and lost, the importance of communication in a relationship, women's health issues and some other info that's not for public consumption. (touch your nose) I have been a loyal fan of this show since it's first tv appearance in 2013 and last night's conclusion was what we all wanted for MJ and honestly for ourselves. Someone to love us for who we are, baggage and all! With insecurities and faults, whether we prefer Jodeci over Boyz II Men or if a trip to Coldstone makes us happy. We just want to be seen by the person who we love and be one of their priorities. 

I shared on the radio last week, that I feel different about my season of singleness this time around. I feel compelled to share my personal challenges and empower women to be encouraged in this area as well. As I'm saying this over the radio the tears started to flow and I am now on live radio and not to mention Instagram Live ugly crying. At first, I felt embarrassed and wondered where did all of these emotions come from, but what God showed me in that moment was that He was fully in control. Because who wants to cry over the air waves and on IG live. NOBODY! God showed me that He's doing the internal work in me to take me to the next level. I'm taking the pain from this process of singleness and turning it into purpose. If nothing else comes from me sharing my singleness journey, healing must take place.

Pauletta Patterson AKA Mary Jane Paul played by the oh so fabulous Gabrielle Union-Wade, resonates with so many women, because at one point in our lives we have been MJ, know someone like her or dated one of her many suitors: Lee, Dre or Beau.  

As a believer, I celebrate Resurrection Sunday (Easter) and the season of lent. For lent this year I gave up being in control of what I thought should happen, who I thought it should happen with and when it should happen. Subsequently, what transpired on the radio last week was God illustrating to me that I finally let Him have full sovereignty over my life. I really let go! Yesssss. And it felt liberating!

Whether it’s a relationship, a state of mind or a bad habit, the Resurrection season symbolizes the end of a season and the fresh beginning of something new! Throughout this singleness season I have been asking God, "What are you already doing in my life in this area?"  I believe that God is preparing me for my mate. I understand that it is what you do in your waiting season that matters the most.

The Being Mary Jane series finale started where it left off on Season 4 with Justin proposing to MJ. MJ accepted his proposal, however in their break up time, which was only 48 hours MJ had artificial insemination. Mary Jane didn't give up on her desire to be a mother, because her relationship with Justin ended temporarily. After Justin's proposal MJ shared with him that she was pregnant and his response was unfavorable.

It only took 48 hours for MJ's life to change! I make reference to this point in the show because, it only takes a second for God to change your relationship status, zip code or bank account balance, and it may also only take 48 hours for you to meet someone who is ready for a commitment. And that is exactly what happened to MJ! Her ex college boo Beau came into the picture and helped MJ during her pregnancy and after giving birth to AJ. Your life shouldn't be on hold or stop because of someones unreadiness. 

In the end Mary Jane got it all! Justin and MJ found their way back to each other and married. MJ did the internal work, didn't settle and was honest about what she wanted. However, did it take for Justin to see Mary Jane in a relationship with Beau for him to realize that he loved her and was now ready? Maybe fear was a factor, but love is so powerful that it overrides fear.

In the words of Mary Jane Paul, "Let go and let love. Because the second you get out of your own way and stop orchestrating, it just happens."