Being Mary Jane - Love's Addiction Week Three

Love, sex, drugs, food, and approval from others are many addictions that people suffer from. In this week's episode of #BeingMaryJane Patrick, Mary Jane's brother finds out about Mary Jane and Andre's relationship. The plot THICKENS (*grabs popcorn*). He accuses Mary Jane of being an addict. #RudeBoy Patrick exclaims that Andre is filling a void. "He says he loves me and I believe it," exclaims Mary Jane. How many women have fallen for these lies? *raises hand*. In last week's post I concluded based on Andres act of proposal that he loves MJ. My friend who is a counselor, Magda Demeritt (@1dfulcounselor) responded stating that "men sacrifice for who they love." What has Andre sacrificed to be in a relationship with Mary Jane? It appears as though Mary Jane is giving up the most valuable assets; her body and integrity.

Passion, secrets, lies and the thrill of the affair, are all possible reasons why women engage in relationships with men who are married and emotionally unavailable. But let the truth be told, once you engage in sexual relationships the concept of clarity, common sense and moral integrity are not important. You JUST want him/her ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. This led me to peruse information on soul ties. Here's what I located:

The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn't use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it's simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn't love her, and treats her like dirt.  

Soul ties are formed through sexual relations, close relationships and vows, commitments and agreements. 

How to break soul ties

1. If any sins were committed to cause this soul tie, repent of them! Fornication is perhaps one of the most common ways to create nasty soul ties. Stop having sex with him/her.

2. If gifts were given to you by the other person in connection with the sin or unholy relationship, such as rings, flowers, cards, bras, etc. I would get rid of them! Such things symbolize the ungodly relationship, and can hold a soul tie in place.

3. Any rash vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the soul tie should be renounced and repented of, and broken in Jesus' name

4. Forgive that person if you have anything against them.

5. Renounce the soul tie. Do this verbally, and in Jesus' name. Example, "In Jesus' name, I now renounce any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and ______ as a result of _______________ (fornication, etc.)."

6. Break the soul tie in Jesus' name! Do this verbally using your authority in Jesus. Example, "I now break and sever any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and _________ as a result of ______________ (fornication, etc.) in Jesus' name."

It is not my attempt to become "churchy" or "religious" in this post, but this ish is real! I wanted to share with you the depth of soul ties. This thing is real people and it goes far deeper than five minutes of pleasure. It is why women stay with men for years and never get married. Why women have baby after baby after baby from the same man with hopes of marriage. Why men stay in unhealthy relationships knowing that their significant other is cheating. Sex clouds our judgements. Let's get back to the basics of friendship, dating, courting and love. 

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

What's your addiction?

Being Mary Jane Week Two

"The woman who catches a man's eye earns a purse, the woman that captures his heart earns his world." Chris Brew. It is apparent from this week's episode of #BeingMaryJane that Andre loves Mary Jane. His wife can see it. That has to be a hard pill to swallow. So if Andre loves Mary Jane, is it safe to conclude that cheating on his wife was not about sex or an "outlet"? So, I'm CONFUSED, not by the show, but by the dynamics of men. How they think, rationalize actions. It makes no sense. I wish life came with a male dictionary and thesaurus. The statement, "I was going to tell you, but..." would be explained. Last week I stated this on my blog post and I believe it is so true; If men would just be honest with us so much confusion could be avoided. One of my favorite songs by Lauryn Hill excaims "it could all be so simple, but you rather make it hard." Why Lord, why must men make it hard? Will the real men please stand up.

In this episode, Andre proposes to Mary Jane. I won't lie I wasn't expecting this, especially after the intimate gym scene last week. I thought ok so dude must really love Mary Jane. Mmmh interesante, in my Spanish accent. Should Mary Jane be elated? Would you? It would confuse the hexx out of me. #Imjustbeinghonest Mary Jane has desires to become married, but who would desire it to be surrounded by so much controversy. I don't believe any woman wants it in that matter. I asked my twitter followers, do all women desire to be married. I am beginning to believe that they don't. There are some women who have been disappointed, disrespected and cheated on by men that they result to homosexuality, engaging in relationships with married men and have simply ruled out the possibility of being married. Whatever the case maybe, I believe we must regain our power. Women we have power! Men only treat us, how we allow them to treat us. Set the tone for what you want. If you don't desire to have sex on the first date, don't have sex. If you desire to wait until marriage to engage in sexual relations, then wait. The right man will support this decision. Ladies I implore you, DO NOT settle for less than what you deserve. This is my mantra and I apply it to every area in my life. I WILL NOT SETTLE! Will you?

Until next week.

Being Mary Jane

Last night over 5 million viewers tuned in to watch the return of the highly anticipated drama series, Being Mary Jane, BET's first original drama. Created by Mara Brock Akil, the visionary behind Girlfriends and The Game this drama evokes so many emotions. The beautiful and talented actress Gabrielle Union plays Mary Jane, a successful high powered talk show host.  Mary Jane searches for love, but finds a man not wanting to commit and a man already in a committed relationship. 

I love the realness of Mary Jane. I think all viewers can relate to at least one challenge or issue that Mary Jane encounters. Mara (I feel like I'm on a one name basis with her since she tweeted me before lol) has created a platform of dialogue discussing  love, sex, adultery, being a black woman in Corporate America, work life balance, suicide, teenage pregnancy, family issues and the list goes on and on.

From last night's episode I am left with a couple of challenging questions, which I hope some of my readers are able to answer. The character Andre, played by the uber so sexy Omari Hardwick (that man is fine, but I digress) is the man who Mary Jane meets and later finds out after she has invested time, emotions, her body and feelings that he is married with children. 

So I ask the question, can you be in love with two people???
In my opinion, love is a choice. It is a decision we choose to make. I choose to date ____.  I choose to invest time in a relationship with _____. No one forces these actions upon you. So if love is a choice, then loving two people simultaneously is possible. Please explain.

Why do men cheat??? Honestly, I really want to know. If you are unhappy in your marriage, why are you still married? I've heard some men say, I stayed for the children. I am not in agreement of children not growing up in a two parent home, but why would you sell your children a lie. If your marriage has hit rock bottom seek counseling and if counseling is unsuccessful put on your big man pants and call it quits. Make room for a relationship and marriage that will be successful.

I believe as women we appreciate honesty and sometimes men deprive us of that. I've been told before because I love you, I won't tell you the truth. Is that love or is that an act of cowardliness?

Share your thoughts on the issue. Feel free to comment.

I look forward to tweeting with you next week Tuesdays at 10pm sharp. Follow me on twitter @Lala_bangs and join the twitter conversation. 

#BeingMaryJane 

2013 The Breakup...2014 A Year of Love, Style and Prosperity

Happy New Year my Not Your Average Model family; We made it through 2013! Wooohoooo! Before delving into the purpose of this blog post, I would like to thank everyone who has supported my blog since its inception in 2012. I appreciate your support throughout the years. 

What can I say about 2013? It has been a year of self discovery for me. This year I realized that I am God's daughter and He wants nothing but the best for me and that I should trust Him and the process. I learned to dream BIG and it's alright to dream big. God promised to open up the windows of heaven and pour down blessings that I won't have room enough to receive and I want every blessing with my name on it. I understand that there is no limit to what God can do for me; And my worrying and reasoning with limited understanding is contrary to God's word. So STOP IT LASHANNON Lol.

In 2013 it was important for me to be physically fit and healthy and I am pleased to report that I achieved this goal. #wontHeDoIt. Exercising is apart of my lifestyle and I am pleased with my results. Starting January 7, 2014 I will be participating in Mr. Shut Up and Train 21 Day Challenge. Don't be alarmed people, it's FREE. Sign up at http://www.mrshutupandtrain.com/30daycc/ I am declaring that I will lose an additional 30 pounds next year. Mmmmh!

This year, I fell in like and in love with myself and found out that I'm pretty cool. Singing, "Can the cool be loved any more? Loved any more. Loved any more." I celebrated myself, every small victory and defeat that the Lord allowed me to achieve. I realized this year if I don't love LaShannon, no other man will. I am comfortable with myself and grateful to my family and friends who love me.

This year I reconstructed my company, Styling Purpose, LLC. We are now a multi-facet creative firm, specializing in fashion and marketing. Our new website will be available soon. Look forward to some wonderful things coming out of our camp in 2014. Follow us on Instagram and twitter @StylingPurpose. Like us on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/StylingPurpose. Oh yea and book your wardrobe styling appointment at StylingPurpose@yahoo.com. Trust me our services will bless your personal and online presence.

I started 2013 with a break up letter encouraged by my Lifestyle Etiquette Coach LaQuisha Wlliams. In this letter I broke up with my fears, doubt, reasoning, unhealthy relationships and embraced change, my creativity, gifts and my awesomeness. I declared that in 2013 I would walk and talk Styling Purpose, because that is who I am!

From this letter came the affirmation I will not settle for less than what I deserve. For so long, I undervalued my gifts and services allowing others to do the same. I declared that I would not have time for an uncommitted relationship with a man while "performing" committed relationship duties. The latter was by far the hardest, but I followed through with it.

I read inspirational and self help books that encouraged my mind shift starting with 'I Declare" by Joel Olsteen and ending 2013 with 'Power Thoughts' by Joyce Myers.

A couple of highlights from 2013.

I was a wardrobe stylist for the First Christian Fashion Week in Tampa, FL.

I worked with Jill Tracey of the Love Life and the 411 as her wardrobe stylist and Glammarazzi Fashion for Jazz in the Gardens.

I was a guest speaker at Honey Shine Career Exploration Workshop.

I graced Essence Magazine online Street Style section while attending Ankara Miami Fashion and Cultural Show.

I was a guest speaker at the Royal Crusade Youth Conference. You know I love the kids.

I was a guest speaker at Beauty with a Purpose Workshop.

I had the privilege of going back to my college Alma mater, Florida A&M University School of Business and Industry during Homecoming and speaking to a First Year MBA Class.

I celebrated my 30th Birthday in New York City and South Florida. #Forever30andThriving

I modeled for my photo shoot. I can't believe it!

I was a Natural Hair model for #RoyalCoils #SFNHExpo.

I was a guest on the Internet radio show Ladies Playing the Field as a fashion expert.

Tonight 12.31.13 I will be a bridesmaid for #crazyboutthatbabythewedding. My first wedding wooohoooo!

I have proclaimed that in 2014 I will be walking in love, peace,joy, happiness, style and prosperity.I encourage you to be good to yourself and do things that make you happy.Support those who support you. Don't dwell on the people who didn't, but focus on the people who did.Have faith and believe that God will do just what he said he would do. Trust God and trust the process. 

S/o
To my mommy, Momma Petit for making the Miami Times. I get it from momma!

Save the Date
Ladies Playing the Field internet radio show will air every Wednesday evening at 7pm on ownyourpowerlifestyle.com.

My best friend Victoria Curry, the founder of Pastors Kids of South Florida will host the radio show The Life of a PK. Listen Monday, January 13, 2014 at 2:30 pm on AM 1490 WMBM. Follow them on facebook and twitter @pastorkidsradio

Chello presents Pure Magic 1.11.14. For ticket information visit www.miramarculturalcenter.org. 

Ankara Miami Fashion and Cultural Show 2.22.14 visit www.ankaramiami.com for more information.


Happy New Year! 

The 60th Birthday Celebration of Singer-Songwriter Betty Wright

Singing, "I love music." Last night I had the awesome privilige of attending the 60th Birthday celebration of Miami's own singer-songwriter Betty Wright. Ingrid B of the #BSideLounge hosted this event at Piano, a restaurant located at the Hard Rock Casino. What made this event so amazing is that Ms. Wright thought she was attending a listening party for her new cd #LivingLoveLies. This new cd will make little girls mature, fall in love, want to make love and call on that wonderful name of Jesus. Executively produced by Betty Wright and Angelo Morris, this cd has songs featured by Rick Ross and DJ Khaled to name a few.

What I Wore

I caught a candid photo of Betty Wright as she walked in the door...SURPRISE! It's your Birthday; you're in first place.

This night was full of wonderful singers paying tribute to the lady who has been influencing the music industry since the 1970's. Singers such as: Ashaala Shanae, Asher, Patrice, Zipporah and Antonia Janae to name a few, graced the stage. Also, Rebecca "Butterfly" Vaughns rocked the mic. I had the pleasure of meeting comedian Tony Rock. Isn't he a cutie?! New York stand up!

A celebration for Betty Wright is not complete without her singing a tune. Singing, "No pain, no gain."
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10100476056625951&l=3474275911966105231

What's happening in Miami

If you're not doing anything tonight check out The Bohemia Room from 8pm-12:00am at Grand Central. Also, the #BSideLounge hosts events at Piano every Tuesday and Thursday nights starting at 8pm. Follow @MsIngridB and @BSIDELOUNGE on twitter for more information.

In the words of Betty Wright, "There are many Betty Wright's, but there is only ONE clean up woman."

Until we meet again...Happy Holidays!

#livinglovelies

Royal Coils the 11th Annual Natural Hair Beauty and Wellness Expo

Wooohooo, everybody I did it; I ripped the runway at the 11th Annual Natural Hair and Beauty Wellness Expo sponsored by #NaturalTrendsetters and Simply Natural Organicals  (#RoyalCoils #SFNHExpo)! I had so much fun. I guess I can stop practicing my walk in the drive way lol. If you missed tonight, you missed a treat. Below you will find a snapshot of all the happenings at the Royal Coils Hair Show.

Tonight I was a #NaturalHair demo model. The beautiful Essence China of Rare Essence Studio curated my hair style to the right on stage in front of a live audience. How cool is that?! 

We are the diva models, entrepreneurs in South Florida creating our own trends. We were honored today by Simone of #NaturalTrendsetters. Thank you for the opportunity. #YouRock 

 

I am so grateful for my support. A major s/o goes to mom,  Momma Petit, my best friend, Victoria Curry, my aunts Catina, Linda and Sherl who were in attendance tonight. Your presence meant so much to me. I am so thankful for everyone who attended, prayed me and supported me via social media. Thank you. Love you!

The Fashion Show Finale

           

The visionaries behind Natural Trendsetters and the South Florida Hair Expo, Simone and Trudy Hylton. These ladies are so talented and have set the bar for natural hair. I can't wait for the 12th Annual Hair Show.  

Save the Date

Tomorrow night, I will be a featured guest on the Internet show, "Ladies Playing the Field." This show is developed to help ladies of all ages navigate the world of sports as fans, participants and enthusiasts. Tonight's topic of discussion is: Why Bother Getting in the Game. I will provide fashion tips for ladies to get and stay in the game. Wooohoooo #WontHeDoIt #YesHeWill. #LoveMeSomeHim. This show will air, January 6 at 7pm. Listen to this episode and other episodes on ownyourpower.biz/media/radio.

So proud of my line sisters and Sorors, Avice Warren, Aisha Brooks and Kamilah Moss. #DeltasFinest #MiamiAlumnaesFinest #DeltaWomenRock #FashionExpert #FashionTips #SportsFan #DeltasSupportingDeltas #GetintheGame #Internet #tv #show #LadiesPlayingtheField 

The 3rd Annual Anakara Fashion & Cultural Show will take place February 22, 2014 at FIU Kovens Conference Center.  For more sponsor and designer information contact info@ankaramiami.com. #AnkaraMiami2014

Until we meet again. Rock your #RoyalCoils

Royal Coils – Reclaiming Our Crown (Natural Hair, Glamour and More…)

*grabs the microphone*

Hola, to all of my followers; I hope you are enjoying this holiday season. This week I had the awesome privilege of interviewing Simone Hylton, Co-owner of Natural Trendsetters; a nationally recognized natural beauty and wellness salon in South Florida. Guided by family powerhouse duo Simone and Yanique Hylton, Natural Trendsetters has two locations in South Florida, offering optimal service, expertise and skill to clients who admire individual beauty. The philosophy, artistry and techniques utilized at the salon stem from African and Caribbean hair care traditions.  As a global representation of beauty and wellness, Natural Trendsetters delivers exceptional results to a multi-ethnic clientele. Their signature hair sculptures have been seen on the likes of musicians Lauryn Hill, Wale, Acehood and athlete Venus Williams to name a few.

On Sunday, December 15, 2013 Natural Trendsetters in association with Simply National Organicals will host the 11^th Annual South Florida Natural Hair, Beauty and Wellness Expo at the Hyatt Regency Downtown, 400 SE 2^nd Avenue Miami, FL 33131 from 11am-8pm. This event is open to the public and will include hair, beauty and wellness workshops, product sampling, vendor booths, live hair demonstrations as well as expert panels. The event will also feature a live hair competition of barber battles, stylist showcases, natural hair wars and fantasy feuds with special musical performances. In celebration of this year’s theme, “Royal Coils” the expo will bring consumers, professionals and product lines under one umbrella to give the full story about keeping your tresses and body healthy. And, guess WHO IS modeling? *raises hand* Wooohoooo! I am so excited. This will be my first time hitting the runway as a natural hair model (A secret dream of mine). #WontHedoIt Admission to the exposition is $15.00 in advance and $20.00 at the door. You can purchase your tickets online at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/419687. Children 12 and under are free. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Save the Twins Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to the education, prevention and treatment of breast cancer in both men and women.

I had the opportunity to catch up with Simone: the electrifying, energetic and creative beast with a queen spirit and this is what she had to share… 

Interview

Not Your Average Model: It is close to a week away from the Hair expo, what can attendees expect from the 11th Annual South Florida Natural Hair, Beauty and Wellness Expo?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: They can expect amazing new trends in natural hair. I am so excited. We have hair stylists from around the country coming to showcase and raise the bar for what natural hair can look like. People don’t understand that there are levels to this (laugh out loud). We have come to raise the bar in natural hair care. You can be natural, have healthy hair and be glamorous. I have come to realize that people do not respect the natural hair craft. YouTube has become teachers. I have been studying natural hair for 25 years and my colleagues for 10 plus years. Natural Trendsetters is here to raise the expectations.

Not Your Average Model: I am loving the theme of this year's hair show, “Royal Coils”. What does this theme mean?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: We are royalty, descendants of kings and queens. I believe that we do not respect our skin color or the texture of our hair. Our ancestors proclaimed that the kinkier your hair, the more royal you were. “Royal Coils” is about re-claiming our crown as royalty. Locs are a natural crown. Let our crowns grow kinky. Let us get back to that! We must realize it is a blessing to have kinks.

Not Your Average Model: Our locs are a natural crown, I love that. I have never viewed my locs in that way. In discussing the beauty of natural hair, why is hair care important and what are some hair care tips?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: Our hair breaks easily. It will leave you like a man if you do not treat it right (laugh out laugh). You should not have to take aspirin to rock a hair style. If your hair is too tight you can develop alopecia. We relate this to glamour and nothing is cute about that. We need to look at our definition of beauty. We are so prone to wanting to look like other people and what they purport beauty to be. Hair and your skin are the first indications that something is wrong with you. It is just as important to be beautiful as it is for you to be healthy.

Not Your Average Model: What does it take to put on an event of this magnitude? What and who are involved?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: This event is 100% industry driven. Vendors of small businesses are coming together to showcase their products. The planning of this expo is time consuming and challenging. We have an amazing platform for businesses to obtain the tools necessary to head to the top. It takes a plethora of experts in business, entertainment and cultures to successfully launch and host this event. In preparation for this hair expo, I have been undertaking a surfeit of research. There is so much that we do not know about our ancestors that we need to explore. We have a team of experts at the hair expo; everyone is qualified and knows what they are talking about.

Not Your Average Model: Simone, you have been in the game for a long time and a leader in the natural hair community, what makes the Natural Trendsetters brand different from other salons?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: We are the first natural hair care salon of its kind in South Florida. We have been open for 16 years and I have been styling hair for 25. We train all of our stylists. A large portion of stylists in South Florida emanated from Natural Trendsetters and I am proud of that. My purpose in life is for women to love themselves from the inside out. At Natural Trendsetters, we hold a professional standard with an industry that is not that professional. I am lobbying for the state to teach hair stylists hair care. It is not offered now. One of my idols is Madam CJ Walker, she was a pioneer. I want our people to take back control of the hair industry.

Not Your Average Model: What are your thoughts concerning the hair controversy surrounding 2012 two time Olympic Gold Medalist, Gabby Douglas?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: Concerning Gabby, “We just saw only her skin color, lips and hair: and that she did not represent our standard version of beauty”. Society has taught us to hate who we are. Something is deeply rooted in us about that. I believe she is beautiful. We should have taken time out to say this is my sistah. She has just broken barriers for us. Let us focus on that. I believe all of the controversy, hurt her feelings.  This is what we do to each other. We have to break those generational curses. As a hair stylist, I deal with people’s soul that is what concerns me. I am a self-esteem builder. I want all women to learn how to embrace what we were born with.           

Not Your Average Model: What does it mean to be a trendsetter?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: Being a trendsetter is defined as having your own style and sensibility. It means really owning and showing who you are. If you do that you can really set a trend. It comes natural for me to set trends. My energy is contagious. I have a natural aura that people gravitate towards.    

(Concerning the gap in her mouth) This is a trait passed down from my ancestors. I pondered the thought of closing it, but it is a part of who I am. It is important to love yourself and I love me.

Not Your Average Model: Define your hair style aesthetic? Is it funky, edgy?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: My style is Afro-centric glamor. It has an ethnic feel. My style has been described similar to hair art. Growing up I always knew I was artisty and creative, but I could not sing or draw (laugh out loud).

Not Your Average Model: Some of the proceeds will benefit the Save the Twins Foundation, why is this organization important to you?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: I have been adversely affected by cancer. My grandmother died from breast cancer and my uncle from prostate cancer. This disease is so mind blowing, because of how fast it takes our people. Save the Twins Foundation is about getting checked, spreading awareness and raising funds to fight this monster. There are a lot of organizations that are raising funds, but not many in our community. We need to do this for our community.

Not Your Average Model: Are there any sponsors or special people you would like to thank?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: Oh yes! I would like to thank Dijox Hair, Taliah Waajid, Simply Natural Organicals and Natural Trendsetters. These companies are all amazing leaders in the hair industry and they believe in my vision.

Not Your Average Model: In one sentence please tell me why should my readers come to the 11th Annual South Florida Natural Hair Beauty and Wellness Expo?

Simone “Trendsetter” Hylton: They should come, so that they can be entertained, educated and uplifted. The hair expo will provide attendees with live entertainment, workshops and open their eyes to see the level of creativity that is available to them. I believe that was one sentence (laugh out laugh).

For more information on the 11^th Annual South Florida Natural Hair Beauty and Wellness Expo visit http://southflnaturalhairexpo.com/ or email SFLNaturalHair@gmail.com.

Follow Natural Trendsetters on Social Media:

https://www.facebook.com/NaturalTrendSetters

Twitter: @NaturalHairGuru

For more information call: (954) 486-1414 or visit www.naturaltrendsetters.com.

Connect with me on Twitter and Instagram @NotYourAvgModel.

*drops mic and exits stage left*