Sunday, April 21, 2013

Slowly Surely...Love Thyself

One of my favorite Jill Scott songs is Slowly Surely. The lyrics read “Slowly Surely I’ll walk away from that old desperate and tainted love. Caught up in the maze of the love. The crazy, craze of love. Thought it was good. Thought it was real, thought it was but it wasn’t love. I just don’t know where I should go. So, Slowly surely I’ll walk away from self serving, undeserving constantly hurting me love.” This song resonates with me, besides being a fan of Jill Scott (I love you Jill lol), because it describes so may relationships that I have allowed myself to engage in. Every time I play this song, I’m like yes Jill, yesss. Egggactly! Walk away LaShannon. Just walk away. But only, if it was that simple.

This year, I decided that I wanted to live a life pleasing to God. For me this meant, allowing God to have complete control in every area of my life, including my relationships. Oh boy! I came to this decision because I was emotionally tired and frustrated. I was doing everything that a girlfriend or wife should do, but without the title. Which is equivalent to working and not getting paid. #nobueno I declared that this year I would not do committed things and not be in a committed relationship with a mate and that I would abstain from sex until marriage. I have done the dating thing my way for so many years and I did not receive what I wanted, which was to be in a committed relationship. I know my worth. I know my value. One man in particular, who will remain nameless, helped me to realize my value and worth and I am grateful that the Lord used him.

I always wondered and would question God, why didn't it work out with the guys who I met. I thought I did everything right. I had to realize that I love on a gallon level, so I need a mate who will love me in return on a gallon level and not a tablespoon or a pint. That the love that I have to offer him would not be overwhelming, because it will be exactly what he needs. He will appreciate my compassionate, loving and nurturing spirit. As women we dumb down and hide our brightness and brilliance to please men who aren’t meant for us any way. #LETTHATGO God is crafting and molding my mate as I pen this blog. I get so excited when I think about him, what we will share and how God will utilize our relationship as a testament of hope, faith and love. #sogeeked

Ladies sometimes we think we can change men, but we can’t. A close friend of mine once told me that men do what they want to do. If he wants to speak to you, he will call you and engage in conversation and not just respond to your text messages. OUCH!  If he wants to see you, he will ask you on a date. And if he doesn't, maybe he's just not interested. This was a very hard pill for me to swallow this past year, but it just made me a better woman. Cheaaa! I know what I want in a relationship. I know what I will allow. I know what I bring to a relationship. I will not settle for less than what I deserve. Will you?

There are six ways you can love yourself. 1. Invest in yourself. 2. Surround yourself with positive people and people who are living the same type of life you are. 3. Declare positive things over your life. 4. Say yes to yourself and say no to anything or person that doesn't encourage you to be your best. 5. Forgive people who have hurt you and let it go. 6. Don't concern yourself with other people's opinion of who you used to be.

I read a quote this past week by Miles Munroe (isn’t he great?) in his book Maximizing Your Potential, “True Obedience to God is doing what He says, when He says, the way He says, as long as He says, until He says “STOP.” Will you obey God today when it comes to your relationships? Will you trust that He will give you the desires of your heart? Will you allow him to give you His best, because you are His best and you deserve the best He has to give? Yesssss, I will!

If that's the case I invite you to attend Love Thyself: Back To Me Women’s Empowerment Summit this Saturday from 10-5pm at Embassy Suites 1100 SE 17 Street, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33136. This event is sponsored by Girl Connection and hosted by LaQuisha Williams. Tickets can be purchased online at

I hope to see you there.

Slowly surely… I’ll walk away from constantly hurting me love…One step at a time. So will you!