"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." Oscar Wilde. The truth is that love comes in different forms and can be defined in so many different ways. There is no set way or route to love, every relationship is different and unique. What may seem feasible for one relationship, maybe challenging for another. I have always been amazed about love and the dynamics of relationships; How couples meet, what attracts men to certain types of women. What can I say, I am a lover of love.
In the two hour Season Finale of #BeingMaryJane, MJ encounters a roller coaster of emotions that forces her to confront the truth. MJ realizes that she is still in love with David (Mr. Do Not Call) and the content of their relationship is exposed. It is revealed that David is privy to MJ stealing his perm and when confronted David tells MJ that if she wanted a baby all she had to do was ask. As the episode progresses, David accuses MJ of being crazy. Why do black men consider "US" (BLACK WOMEN) crazy? We're not crazy!!! Well...maybe MJ is for stealing David's sperm, but haven't we all done something a lil crazy in a relationship?
A host of other incidents occur in this episode. MJ's friend Terrance played by Luda commits suicide. MJ's brother, introduces Ma Dukes to some" medicinal" marijuana. Ha. Ha. Ha. That scene was hilarious! Niecy, MJ's niece (sc) gives birth to her daughter Isabell and the father of her baby finally steps in. Bravo! However, what is most intriguing to me in this episode is the COME TO JESUS MOMENT that MJ has with herself. She realizes her mistakes and is brave enough to confront them, although highly intoxicated in the process. MJ apologies to Avery and what her affair did to their marriage and encourages Avery to take Andre back. That takes a lot of courage and maturity. We might not agree holistically with MJ's past behavior, but as MJ's father said concerning the Terrance situation, you gotta make it right and she did!
While professing her love to David, MJ calls herself a ride or die chick. She says and I quote, "I'm the real thing." Which reminds of Jill Scott's song "The real thing in stereo"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAAV8EWrLXw. One time for Jilly from Philly. #LoveHer
How many of us have been "ride or dies" only to be hurt in the end. I believe the key is to being a successful "ride or die" is to be in a committed relationship. Women we must commit ourselves to men who are worthy. Men who have PROVEN that they care and love US. They have expressed their love and commitment and they feel the SAME exact way or greater for you as you for them.
While I was preparing for a women's conference call with the group Church Girls Rock last year I discovered that I was a gallon lover. I love on a gallon level, most Scorpio's do. (Discalimer - I am a Christian, but I believe there are some true characteristics of horoscopes). I am guilty of loving men who were only giving me pints. I allowed this to go on for years. Until I had a COME TO JESUS MOMENT and finally realized that the love I have to share is set aside for someone special, for my gallon mate. My heart, will match his heart.And my love and compassion will finally be appreciated.There is no greater feeling than being free to love. I wish the same thing for Mary Jane and other women in similar situations. I have read many critics on the show Being Mary Jane via social media and how the show uplifts infidelity and adultry, which I honestly disagree. The show #BeingMaryJane simply illustrates the reality of the world we live in. Reality doesn't make it right or wrong, but it makes it valid. There are many women looking for love and desperate to obtain it. There are women and men who cannot be alone, so they stay in unhealthy relationships and start other relationships on the side like David did in #BeingMaryJane. It doesn't make it right, just makes it real.
Today I was reading the March issue of the Essence Magazine and they share some interesting statistics on women, dating and relationships. Essence reports that 75% of Black women 35 and older have been married (Fewer than 10% of Black women we surveyed believe this is the reality.) Also, 81% of Black women are open to dating a man who makes less money, but 56% are firmly against dating a man who is more than seven years younger than them.
This show has addressed many issues: suicide, friendship, love. relationships, teen pregnancy, marriage, infidelity, work-life balance, lust, race, minorities in corporate america, issues of being a successful Black woman, sexuality and a host of others. Will there be a second season of #BeingMaryJane I hope so, but in the meantime and in between time I'm going to love LaShannon. Loving LaShannon means letting my light shine, embracing my brown skin, curves, locs and allowing myself to be loved. I implore all of my woman: single, dating, in between, married, divorced or "it's complicated" to celebrate your womanhood. Celebrates what makes you you!
I would like to thank everyone who joined the twitter conversation everyTuesday night with me. To all who thought my words were worthy of a retweet, favorite and a reply and to those who read and followed my blog as I recanted each episode of #BeingMaryJane. I appreciate your support.
Notyouraveragemodel is a blog covering the multi-dimensions of #faith #fashion #love and #entertainment. With each blog post it is my desire to encourage, motivate, uplift and share something positive. And I will continue...
It's the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill.