Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Number Two - Being Mary Jane Week Four


MISTRESS, SiDe ChIcK, side PIECE or NUMBER two. Some of us have played this role in relationships or know someone who has willingly or unwillingly. In this week's episode of Being Mary Jane, the concept of being “number two” in a relationship unfolds. We find out that Andre (MJ’s boo thang) and his wife Avery have been in counseling for 6 months. During one of their counseling sessions Avery describes how much she has sacrificed for their marriage. It SEEMS like women sacrifice the most in relationships. We give our all: time, love, our bodies, our identities to inherit there's and in return for what?

As the counseling session progresses Avery describes Andre as being a good man and a great father. But she poses the question, “then why are you cheating on me?” DING. Great question Avery. In the words of my daddy, “TALK TO ME.” Andre responds, “She sees me for who I am now. She's fun.”  Are women so focused on what “our image” of a man should be that we ignore who they really are? It appears that men just want someone to love them for who they are and grow to love who they will become.

As Mara Brock Akil would so have it, in this episode MJ is the guest speaker at a luncheon that Avery attends. Somebody say “awkward.” Avery shares with a group of women that her husband is cheating on her and proceeds to ask MJ why men cheat on their wives. Shady.com. But ten points for Avery, for making MJ uncomfortable for sleeping with her husband. “Up your sex game, years and years of bad sex and they fall out of love with their wives” is MJ’s response. So I pose a question, is sex an integral component in a relationship? In this episode, Avery attempts to please her husband orally and it was an epic fail. Noooo Avery, please stop. I always joke with my friends and tell them when the Lord blesses me with a husband sex WIL BE on the menu and will occur OFTEN lol. Yes, it will! Whenever and wherever my husband wants it, because at this point I am able to engage in sex with no restraints, no reservations and no shame. Sounds good in theory right, BUT when you work a full time job, endure the demands of motherhood, running a household, family, friends and extracurricular activities, sex may not be a top priority. As women do we get so involved in our careers and the business of life that we forget about the romance, fun and the reasons why we embarked on the relationship from the beginning?

The #2 Speech

When Mary Jane gave her riveting “number two” speech I know all the side chicks were like "heeey, who run the world" lol. But honestly, don’t side chicks want the role of number one anyway? My mother and I debate this all time, I feel that all women do not want to be married, but she differs. There are some women who are satisfied with just being "number two".  Are you?

I have always been the type of woman to just want one man. I never needed a bunch of dudes to "holla" at me. I just wanted one man to find me special, because I am. To believe I got it going on, because I do J.  Someone I can truly be ME around. I have realized these last couple of weeks, that what I desire most is companionship, simply a friend. I believe that friendship is the foundation for a successful relationship. Although I desire to be married, I believe that I am not ready for such an important role at this juncture in my life. I'm surprised that I'm even typing this. I really am.  Maybe, I'm being selfish, or simply realistic. But I want to be able to bring something valuable to the table. So, I am diligently working on being the best LaShannon Petit and building my company and brand Styling Purpose, LLC. Maybe I will meet the Mister while doing this. I know that God’s timing is different from ours and through faith and patience I will inherit His promises. I am trusting His word and His timing. 


I am Not Your Average Model and thank you for reading. See you next week on twitter @Lala_bangs for the 2 hour season finale conversation.

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