Hey boo! It's been a long time since I've written, 2015 to be exact! I only wanted to write when I had something valuable to share with my audience. Since my writing hiatus, I have launched two successful businesses -PrPl Miami and Petit Amour Brand, shameless plug! I have checked off some items on my bucket list, grown spiritually, increased my God-confidence, elevated my sense of style, read Michelle Obama's book Becoming (inspiring to say the least) and experienced a number of failed "situationships", you know those "relationships" that are not quite relationships, but situations because someone is not yet ready to commit. Gotta keep it honest in 2019!
Last night, I had the privilege to catch an early screening of What Men Want starring Taraji P. Henson with some of my girlfriends at Aventura AMC. We cute or whateva!
I wanted to watch this movie to support FAMU's own Will Packer, the beautiful and talented Taraji and to gain some insight, because a sista is not winning in this category. I ask the poignant question, WHAT DO MEAN WANT? I can hear uncle Steve Harvey purport, "we don't know what we want, you have to tell us what that is!" At 35, I'm still trying to answer this question. I have dated, "talked to", "friended" all types of men - blue collar, men divorced with kids, the cheater, the successful man, so successful they don't have time to date or should I say they don't create time to date, which presents a problem when your love language is quality time! I have been in the friend zone too many times to count, matter of fact I should have stock in the friend zone. Real talk! This phase is important in building a strong relationship built on trust, honesty and communication, but I never transition out of this phase. POR QUE NO? In my head, I'm like so you can talk to me like almost all day about almost everything, but that's it! I'm like Drake, NO NEW FRIENDS! I don't want to just be your friend dude! I have enough of them. I require more out of this situation then what you're giving me!
I believe you get to the point in your singleness where you're just over it and you have no more ___ (insert explicative) left to give! Where you realize that you're a prize, an asset to any situation. You haven't quite given up on love, you just can't give energy to those who aren't ready to receive the capacity of love you have to give. Either they want to do date you or they don't, either they view you as more than a friend and they decide to pursue more or they don't. We all know that love is a choice. So many times in my past, I have chased after a man. I don't even know why. Because, I love love and at the time I was anxious and felt ready to be in a relationship. At the close of 2017, I decided that those days of chasing are ova honey! Because honestly, if he is led by God, he will be obedient to what God is telling him to do as it relates to me and us and he will allow God to order his steps to me or away from me. I am old fashion in this way. I want a man to pursue me, not because I want to play games, but because I want to know you have consciously made the decision to be in my life romantically. The scripture says that "A man who finds a wife, finds a good thing." Which means that he has to be searching for it! AHA! But what if he's not searching? What if this is the year that he decided to focus on his business and love is not on his calendar for 2019. Then, what do you do?
Whether married, divorced, single or it's complicated, self love is a universal language for women despite your relationship status. To answer the question above, what you do, is to continue to love yourself and put yourself first! You don't settle for a lack luster commitment. You travel, workout, go to brunch, open yourself to receiving the love that you require. I repeat, you don't settle! You live your best life, however that may look for you. You don't worry about society's time table on when you should be married and have kids. You maneuver through life your way and through your terms!
There are some days where I am secure in my singleness, but this week was not that type of week! I shared this photo on social media, because I wanted to encourage my plus-sized sisters that beauty comes in all shapes, hues and sizes. I can honestly say that I love myself, whether single or dating!
I wanna leave you with this golden nugget.